What is sextortion?
Sextortion is a form of online blackmail. Someone gets hold of a nude or semi-nude image of a young person, or makes a fake one, and threatens to send it to their friends, family or school unless they hand over money, gift cards or more images.
The version that has grown fastest is financial. The person on the other end is not after a relationship. They want money, quickly, and they are working through a script they have used on many children before.
It often starts somewhere ordinary: a game, a social app, a follow request from someone who looks about the same age. The chat is friendly, then flirty, then fast. A photo is swapped. Within minutes the tone flips, and a screenshot of your child's followers list arrives with a demand and a deadline.
How common is it?
More common than most parents expect, and rising. The US CyberTipline received more than 186,800 reports of online enticement in 2023, the category that includes sextortion, and those reports grew by more than 300% between 2021 and 2023. In 2024 the total passed 456,000 by early October.
The UK's National Crime Agency took the unusual step of alerting every school in the country after global sextortion cases reported to NCMEC more than doubled in 2023, to 26,718.
Why are teenage boys targeted?
All ages and genders are targeted, but the financial version has hit boys aged 14 to 18 hardest. Of the UK sextortion cases the Internet Watch Foundation dealt with in 2023, 91% of the victims were male.
That matters for how you talk about it. A lot of online safety messaging is aimed at girls, and boys can hear it as not meant for them. Say it plainly to your son: this happens to boys, it happens fast, and the people doing it are good at it.
What should we do in the first hour?
If your child comes to you, the most important thing has already happened. Keep your voice level. Then work through this:
- Do not pay. The NCA says there is no guarantee it stops the threats, and paying usually leads to bigger demands. If money has already been sent, do not send any more.
- Stop all contact and block. Your child should not reply, negotiate or plead.
- Keep the evidence. Do not delete the account, the chat or the images. Screenshot usernames, messages and any payment details. Both NCMEC and the NCA say this helps.
- Report the account on the platform where it happened.
- Report it to the right people. In the UK, report to CEOP or call the police on 101 (999 if your child is in danger). In the US, report to NCMEC's CyberTipline or the FBI.
- Get the image taken down. NCMEC's Take It Down works for anyone who was under 18 in the image, and the image never leaves your device. In the UK, Report Remove from Childline and the IWF does the same job confidentially.
What do we say to our child?
Something close to this: "You are not in trouble. You are the one being hurt here. We are going to sort this out together."
Children who are being blackmailed are often more frightened of their parents' reaction than of the blackmailer. That fear is exactly what the scammer relies on, because a child who will not tell anyone is a child who keeps paying. Every word you say in the first five minutes either shrinks that fear or feeds it.
Avoid "why did you send it?" for now. There will be time later to talk about how it happened. Right now your child needs to know the adults are in charge and the threat has an end.
How do we prepare our child before it happens?
Talk about it before it is personal. A short, calm conversation about how the scam works does more than any lecture about not sending photos, because it gives your child a script for the moment it goes wrong.
Three things are worth saying out loud: people online are not always who they say they are; if anyone ever threatens you, come to me and you will not be in trouble; and paying never makes it stop. In our story The Prize That Wanted a Password, Maya nearly hands over her password to a friendly stranger and only stops because she remembers the family rule. The rule is the point. It has to exist before the pressure arrives.
Try this at home or in class
Ask your child to tell you how they would spot a fake friend online, then swap roles and let them quiz you. Finish by agreeing one sentence they can text you if anything ever goes wrong, such as "I need help, no questions yet." Write it down somewhere they will see it.
Frequently asked questions
Should we pay the blackmailer?
No. The UK's National Crime Agency says there is no guarantee paying stops the threats, and once someone has paid they are likely to be asked for more. If you have already paid, do not pay again.
Should my child delete the messages?
No. Block the account but keep the messages, images, usernames and any payment details. NCMEC and the NCA both say this evidence helps stop the person responsible.
Can a fake image be used for sextortion?
Yes. The NCA notes the image can be a real photo or a fake one made by the offender, so a child can be targeted without ever having sent anything.
How do we get an image taken down?
Anyone who was under 18 in the image can use NCMEC's free Take It Down service, which creates a digital fingerprint of the image without uploading it. In the UK, Report Remove from Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation lets under-18s report an image confidentially.
Who is most often targeted?
Anyone can be, but boys aged 14 to 18 have been the most common targets of financial sextortion. In UK cases handled by the Internet Watch Foundation in 2023, 91% of victims were male.